i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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