I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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