I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
