Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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