I'm pants shitting drunk right now
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
