Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize