I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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