weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
