You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize