We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
