Your tits are I can't wait for
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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