The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
