I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
