If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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