Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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