He is such a slut. More and more my type.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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