our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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