I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
