ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
