yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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