maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
