omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
