haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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