I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
