So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
