I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
