Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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