Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
