Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize