I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
