We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
