yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
