Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
