And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize