You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
