In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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