haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
