If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
