Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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