Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Never joke about your clitoris.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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