You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dear god my vagina.
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