chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
