You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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