it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
