he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
