I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize