don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
