More tranny stories later!
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Randomize
