walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
