I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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