I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
