you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
