Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize