Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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