mondays should just be called national damage control day
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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