I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
