Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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