Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
