Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
