we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
