Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
