then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
