I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
