im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
