Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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